Adventures In Mediocrity: Archive

Adventures In Mediocrity

February 2010

sharkfuck asked: How fulfilling is it to post pseudo-offensive bullshit, under the guise of actually being funny? The fact that you're in your twenties is shocking to me. I have always had this rather optimistic philosophy that people as ignorant as yourself would come to a moment in which they realized they were in fact, mouth breathing imbeciles whom were lucky to have survived so long with so little...

mcdavis asked: i better own the top of all your lists.

but really, let's get really, really drunk and piss on an electric fence. Or stand on the street corner and recite 90s snoop dogg to anyone that walks by. or slut around. I don't even care.

pie0 asked: The best friend (teawithlemon.tumblr.com) says she'll send you her boobs if you get her 50 new followers.

suburbanmike asked: i'll show you my tits if it'll make you feel better. they like well-done fried eggs with too much pepper on them, but they're tasty as hell.

I don't get it...

kellyegan: mikeypizzle: you guys know i’m drunk right now….and you know i love boobs…why haven’t i received any from any of you….that’s what the /ask feature is for….fail tumblr….total failure. Drunk hairy man doesn’t get what he wants after begging through Internet, next, on Sick Sad World. Listen…i know you just started following me and aren’t used to the way i roll…but...

I don't get it...

you guys know i’m drunk right now….and you know i love boobs…why haven’t i received any from any of you….that’s what the /ask feature is for….fail tumblr….total failure.

Dear Tumblr Ladies,

You all need to have a picture of yourself tagged “gpoyw” or “snpd” so that when i start following you and i search your blog i know if you’re hot enough to follow back. Seriously, mikeypizzle

thepiratefuture asked: could we hang?

jesserelley-deactivated20111212 asked: If you were to add up all the times you had ever had sex then divide them by how many days in your life that you've been sexually active, how often would you say you get laid?

I'm accounting for those days that there were multiple go rounds. A good day.

I'm also accounting for your mouth.

Fun Fact: If you loved me you'd show me your...

Fun Fact: You're cool and all, but i just wanna...

What do you mean you don’t have season 2 of Californication available for instant watch…..what am i supposed to do…sit here drink this jack and not watch Hank Moody live my dream life….What do you expect me to just go out and find someone to fuck or do crazy shit with….bullshit sirs bullshit…fucking shit.

January 2010

Dear 21 year old "virgin".....

When you want some real man dick and just makeout/dry hump for an hour hit me up…i mean you will have to find me cause lord knows i deleted your number once i got back in my car….

you know who you are. →

(via molls) I just wanna use your love tonight

I hope none of you hope for bigger boobs.

supergoat: I despise mine, and they aren’t even that big. This is the dumbest thing i’ve ever read in my history of reading….

mojitosandblow asked: can i make a fur coat out of your chest hair? <3

“TAKE THE GYPSY BOY!”

– Buster Bluthe - Arrested Development

Anonymous asked: who are your hottest followers

like-a-cut asked: dear mikeypizzle,

unlike every other cooze on here, I don't know you well enough to want to titty-fuck you!

warmest regards

Dearest Carlovely,

I have 3 questions for you about your friend Nikki ahem… Question the First! Is she single? Inquiry number 2: Does she like bros with awesome beards? Section 3 (the essay portion): If The two of you were trapped in the moutains all Donner Party style who would kill the other first and eat them? Thank you, Mikeypizzle

Anonymous asked: Which celebrity female has the nicest tits?

Anonymous asked: Hullo. Even though seemingly uncontrollably upfront and sometimes crude about sexuality, I find you entirely sexy. I like your facial hair and stucture and I want to take off that white v-neck you have on in that default picture...real slow.

I dunno if im just really horny right nowww or what-but id do you knee shakingly slow, cuddle for ten minutes then make you a sandwhich.

spacecataz-deactivated20110714- asked: Seriously? You enjoy A cups? What if she has really broad shoulders... and a big ass.... and she shouldn't really have A cups she should at least have B's if not a C's, you know, if there really WAS a god?

Let me stress a point....

I love boobs…i know i’ve said this before but i really feel like you guys just don’t understand how deep, true and pure my love is. Shit is serious you guys…like legal union serious. And the thing is, like anything you love i’ve taken the time and studied every aspect of tits…i can call a bra size from a mile away…Also let me stress the fact that i love...

1980 asked: did you know... madeline zima plays a lesbian on heroes?

Anonymous asked: i will cut that bitch.

Anonymous asked: I'm growing "smitten" on you.

Californication it is.....

catch you guys on the flip side..

Do I wanna start watching....

Dexter or Californication on Netflix?

Josephine Antoinette Freeman Callas