Adventures In Mediocrity

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• molls:

  After our brunch thing the other day we were all drunk and exhausted, so Chuck and Jen stayed and hung out and we all watched the VMAs. Around 9:30 we heard a knock on the door and we were all, “Oh fuck. Someone’s here because they thought we were having people over at night instead of during the day.”

  I rolled off the couch and walked down our stairs and went to the door and it was our friend Davey, who was totally at our house earlier that day.

  He was all, “I’m really sorry for stopping by like this, but I have a ton of leftover pizza and I didn’t know if you guys would want it.”

  Now, my dudes, like… I’ve always had a very soft spot for Davey in my heart because I’ve known him for maybe three years now and he’s consistently the most thoughtful and cool kid ever. I have a lot of friends who have had leftover pizza before, but Davey’s the only one who’s even shown up at my door and offered it to me. Mad thoughtful.

  Obviously I was like, “FUCK YEAH. BRING THAT PIZZA UPSTAIRS RIGHT NOW.”

  What I didn’t anticipate was that the pizza box was going to be as wide as I am tall. We had to hold it sideways to get it through the door.

  I have a pretty strict “no mixing animals” rule when it comes to food. I won’t eat pork and chicken or beef at the same time (like, why would you ever need to eat more than one type of animal at once, right?) But I ate like, four pieces of this pizza and it had ALL KINDS of meat on it. I probably ate an entire pig and an entire cow’s worth of pizza toppings.

  We threw out the rest of the pizza the next day (there were at least 20 pieces left) and actually, it was a little gross while we were eating it. But don’t you think that’s so nice that Davey did that? It made me feel like Pizza Royalty. What a great feeling to give a frond.

  Hey guys, I’ll be posting a song and some text. Guest blogging from tweetwillow! *fart noise*

  permalink 25 notes suck my yeast infection molls Molly McAleer Molly Papsmear tweetwillow