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Guest Blog from @tweetwillow/@ideasbichuck
These are the thoughts that I would have tweeted if I had a real twitter and tumbled if I gave a lick of a dick.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be there in a lick of a dick!” - old timey homosexual
- I knew I was in love with her because when I met her I wanted to kill myself.
- Machete don’t cuddle.
- Aftershave is sex after a shave, right?
- Her first blowjob was accidental.
- I imagine all text message senders sitting on the toilet.
- Suck my yeast infection.
- I hate condoms.
- Thanks Boston Cream Party for our freedom from desserts.
- I’ll be able to appropriately deal with all of your shit in my next life when I’m reincarnated as a toilet handle.
- There are only things you shouldn’t do and things you’re not supposed to do.
And now, alternate chorus lyrics for “Toot It And Boot It”
I toot it and shoot it/into her booteris
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