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You guys ever see my hot ass mess bitch face? Now you have.
This is why she is a “Hot ass mess bitch face”
Me: other than the 2 shots and a beer you told me about how much more did you drink
Kellee: i think i had around three budweisers and then i went into the bar to put music on, and carney and megan were sitting there and had me do shots with them, and the bartender had leftover shot in her shaker so we each did two then. she brought a round of shots out to our table but she brought enough for two per person
sooo
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An Exercise In Self Immolation
I’m in no way a bar person. And it seems like its just hard to be one in Los Angeles in general. And feel free to argue that point with me. But it totally feels like the Midwest and East Coast make it easy to become a regular. While in LA/Hollywood its all about going to the hot new places. Or finding the specials. Now don’t get me wrong I go to bars, when there is a reason to go. Whether it’s to meet friends or for a party or some other social event. But I’ve never been the dude to just roll solo to a bar. I’ve done it maybe a total of 5 times and each time all I do is sit and write about how fucking miserable I am. This totally makes me seem like an antisocial freak. But it has nothing to do with that. An for some reason I feel like a majority of you who are on this platform are going to agree and reply with “yeah mike I feel the same” and while that makes me feel great it simply reinforces the type of person I am and associate with. I would much rather sit with friends or random internet people and talk about random shit than go out to the bar/club to find pussy. But is that so bad? I honestly feel that it’s that mentality that has gotten this country and world into the state its currently in. Everyone is so caught up on the appearance of social life that they truly have no social life. They have no real friends to call upon in a moment of weakness or need……
Afterword:
After that point I became too intoxicated and lazy to write anymore….
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Taste Test Tuesday!
IN THE STYLINGS OF FOURLOKO!
- I (David) will never quit advising every moral, decent, sane individual with things to live for to never ever forevernever under any circumstances so much as think about any of the food that I eat in any of my videos.
- There are eight official flavors of Four Loko and one special edition flavor. They are all officially especially gross.
- This video features a SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE from Taste Test innovator, Chuck McCarthy!
- I just watched Requiem For A Dream.
- Apologies again for the length.
- Watch the video, shithead.
You Guys! This is a very special Taste Test Tuesday…And in my opinion probably one of the best!
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GPOYW #1: Releasing the Kraken….
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To whomever left the 3/4 of a mini bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label Whiskey in my car…THANK YOU! It’s making it a great Wednesday! oh..also GPOYW #1
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Look at these fucking tumblrs!
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ugh…
is it possble to have a delayed hangover and for it to start 24 hours after you drank…cause seriously right now, i wanna fucking kill myself. Or is it my body going into withdraw since tonight is the first night i haven’t had a drink in 5 days….
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1st Annual Hollywood Brewfest….this post about
This past weekend on 11/14/09 Allison and I attended the 1st Annual Hollywood Brewfest at the Henry Fonda. Over all it was an awesome event, I mean the best part was getting in free, but even you did have to pay 45 bucks is not a bad price. Basically you get to walk about all day drinking beer and listening to music. Also the time of the event makes it super possible to metro there and back, which totally would rock if i had to. Anyway onto the important part, the beers I tried.
- Schmaltz Brewing Company: I tried their Hebrew: The Chosen Beer: Genesis Ale. It was delicious def something you should check out. I did feel a little chosen afterwar.
- Skyscraper Brewing Company: Bulldozer Honeyweizen. I love light beers especially Hefs an this was fucking magical and the fact they are located in El Monte which is lke 10 mins away means i’ll be grabbing some growlers to take home.
- Gentlemen Scholar: They only have one beer Requiem: Espresso Stout and it’s all they need. I as hesitant at first to try, but as soon as the first magical drops splashed over my taste buds i was sold…DEAR LORD IT WAS BEAUTIFUL! If i could i would drink this in the morning instead of actual coffee, it tastes like the best straight black coffee you’ve ever had.
- Magic Hat Brewing Company: Let’s just say i’m easily sold on things that are bright and shiny and fun, and let’s just say that Magic Hat’s both was exactly that i was there for like 5 minutes talking and fucking around before i even tried the beer. Magic Hat Number 9 is delicious and fruity, it has an after taste of apricot, which when i was told that before trying was a little skeptical of, but shit does it work.
- Grand Teton Brewing Company: Lost Continent Double IPA, now normaly i don’t like IPAs they are a little to bitter for me and while this one was bitter it also had enough nutty flavor to equal out. While this isn’t a beer i would order while out getting shit faced, if i was out having a nice dinner i would order it to pair with my meal.
- Bootleggers Brewery: Old World Hefeweizen perfect, simple, classic.
- Woodchuck: Draft Cider: Amber, this was the first hard cider I had ever tried before, and i was impressed. i can def see myself lying on a bear skin rug in front of a fire pounding these till i pass out.
- Deschutes Brewery: Black Butte Porter, good but def not something i would drink again…sorry bros!
- Inland Empire Brewing Company: Pale Ale, the only thing i can say is i was impressed by something that came out of The Inland Empire….that’s it.
- Nectar Ales: Hemp Ale, i tried this simply for fun cause it’s Hemp Ale…comon plus the dude serving was oldish and was wearing a sweatsuit….it’s was Hemp Ale you figure it out.
So over all it was good day…I will def be going next year….
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Scant recollections on a night spent out.
The events following took place on September 25, 2009 between the time of 10:30pm-1:30am.
I was invited about by a miss Molly Motherluvin’ McAleer for some drinks at Birds, joining us would be Senor Chuck, and the ever popular Viceroy David. (note, that other than the consumption of alcohol we were there to visit the ever cheerful Saraliz)(extra note, i will no longer be linking peoples names…unless they are new to the story) To begin the evening I met David and our friend K. P. Mills in the Gelsons parking lot, were daivd and I quickly downed some Miller tall cans in order to get that rocking pregame buzz that all the kids are talking about. With a stomach full of suds and heart set adventure we bid adios to K. P. Mills who most likely went home to pleasure his lady in a way only he can. David and I then strolled the few hundred feet to Birds where we were greeted by Saraliz herself in a most jovial fashion. Shortly after Molls and Chuck came over from their booth to extend their hellos and also to notify us that they were heading out doors to enjoy a cigarette. Not wanting to be rude I joined them. With cigarettes in hand and light mood in the air we discussed many topics, unfortunately i can’t seem to exactly remember what they were since i wasn’t taking notes at the time.
After our smokes we returned indoors to the booth and with Molls and Chuck on one side and David and I on the other we began the awkward silence….Until it was broken up quickly by Saraliz who came to take our drink orders. Being the gentleman i am i started with an Amaretto and Coke. David chose a Martini, only after being talked down from a Manhattan. Molls decided to switch to beer while Chuck also got a beer but also a shot of something i forgot to ask about. The first real topic of conversation was brought about after i nerdily noticed that Spider-man the movie was playing on one of the televisions. Chuck, David and I started to discuss how shitty Spider-Man 3 was and not just the emo-dancing part, but improper use/character development of Sandman, along with many other flaws.
At this point David and I had finished our original drinks and switched to Pabst Blue Ribbon. At this point in the night they were inviting all the birthday ladies to dance in the birdcage…And jesus there were a lot of birthdays….well probably more like two but it was more than enough. At this point the 90/00’s R&B/Pop hits came in a nonstop succession punctuated by Beyonce and Michael Jackson. While these beats were blasting out two attractive ladies rose up onto the center platform and began seductively hula-hooping…WITH ONLY ONE HULA-HOOP….talk about instant cream. But sadly the deliciousness could not continue, for next up was the older cougar (who is apparently the owner) and with her some rando drunk dude. My boner quickly deceased and buried itself into my thighs.
Now I was deep into my 2nd PBR when i decided to drunkenly start recording the nights events. First i asked for a quote from everyone.
Chuck: I remember back when “I’m a serious blogger” was a joke.
Molls: Fuck this fucking bullshit.
David: They say there is a bridge to Terabithia, however that is false, it is a road.
While typing these Chuck noticed the font that the Notes app on my iPod Touch and decided to express this sentiment. “Is that comic sans? Fuck that erase it!”
Shortly after this it came to the point in the night when i bladder could take no more and i had to expel some of the urine that had built up. While relieving myself the gentleman washing his hands drunkenly asked me what year I was born. I responded with 1985, he then proceeded to tell me how great a year that was for music. Which is a statement i can’t argue with. Sometime after that i had my 3rd and last PBR and apparently became to befuddled to continue taking notes. I do remember paying my portion of the bill and then exiting with Molls and David to enjoy a final cigarette before preceding home.
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no better way to end a night of drinking than with a PBR and some salad…classy…you know i am
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I don’t know which was worse….
All the smoking and drinking and general debauchery. Or the fact that when I got home at 5am I ate an entire bowl of leftover rigatoni pasta that had just a smidgen of sauce left on it so i decided to add cheddar cheese, olive oil and some salt free garlic and herb seasoning.
