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stupid girls….
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I haven’t been in school in 8 years….
But i still love back to school shopping!
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sometimes think that all the super adorable random animals in the world are a result of people from the future with advanced technology creating real Pokemon and then sending them back in time to be part of nature.
— Mikey, the genius that is currently in my ichat window. (via brain-food)
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It’s really freeing being a low level sociopath…
I mean seriously….why let the everyday trappings of empathy and emotional connection get in your way.
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To all new followers.
He doesn’t like you!
I Don’t like you either!
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Here’s the thing with showering with your BF/GF you gotta be prepared for it. It’s not like slipping naked into the bath with them. You have to be wholly attracted to them, because the minute you get in there *BAM* y’all looking like a drowned cat. Also it’s not very romantic with water splashing in your eyes and shit. My suggestion, showers are personal time (washing, jacking, jilling). Baths are where the romantic coupling happens. That’s why they are hot tubs, not hot showers.
(via msski)
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Have you ever…
farted and it shifted something down there and you can’t tell whether or not you might have shit your pants and so you sit for like 5 mins trying to figure it out and then you make the decision to shove your hand down your pants and feel and you pray to god that your fingers don’t come back brown…..me either.
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GPOYT: This is a sign in the Metro Gold Line. Nothing has captured me as person more.
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My favorite unit of measurement is “A Cunt Hair”
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Dear Children,
Stop all the butt sex! Don’t let religion ruin your anus! Just throw a condom on and go to town! You’re gonna wear out your sphincters by the time your 21 and need a colostomy bag for the rest of your life! There are a lot of other parts of the body you can use to cum….
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YO HARRY POTTER I’MMA LET YOU FINISH BUT…
The Lord Of The Rings is the best fantasy series of all time!
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Girl Talk is how hipsters listen to top 40 songs without admitting they listen to the radio.
TRUTH!
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Fun Fact: There is always someone that gives better head than you…
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Fun Fact: Today is international GO FUCK YOURSELF day…
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HEY STOP! I can’t hear the song over the flapping of your negligent cunt.
